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Senior Citizens and the Flu

November 1, 2018

The Saybrook at Haddam’s Wellness Team hosted its flu shot clinic this week, which is a vital and convenient service we provide for residents each year.  We know age weakens our immune defenses which means older people are most vulnerable to severe flu disease – sometimes even sending them to the intensive care unit.  So, to help fight the flu, it makes great sense that we do all we can do to build up our defenses early in the flu season.

It is important to note that the Center for Disease Control recommends people 65 years and older get a flu shot and not a nasal spray vaccine.  This should be done annually because flu immunity wanes over a year and because viruses (and therefore vaccinations) change each year.  It is also important to note that it takes about two weeks for actually immunity from vaccination to set in after so getting vaccinated earlier is better.

The CDC recommends seniors receive either a high-dose or adjuvanted flu vaccine (vs. standard-dose seasonal shots). Some mild side effects can include pain, redness or swelling at the injection site, headache, muscle ache and malaise.

As always, the Wellness Team at The Saybrook at Haddam recommends everyone take precautions by covering coughs, washing hands often (or using Purel which is located throughout the community) and avoiding people who are sick.  Additionally, the team is available to discuss vaccinations as well as treatment of colds and flu (symptoms could include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue).  For seniors, it is crucial they begin treatment of the flu within 48 hours after symptoms start, especially if seniors are experiencing difficulty breathing or shortness of breath.

Many families tell us they are comforted that their loved ones have so many health resources available to them at The Saybrook at Haddam.  There are many eyes and ears watching carefully for any signs of illness and health monitoring takes place directly and indirectly on a daily basis.  When an issue is suspected, families and physicians are contacted and treatment is planned immediately.

We hope all families remember that flu vaccination has been shown to reduce flu-related illnesses, hospital visits, and even length of ICU stays. For residents or friends who may have missed our flu shot clinic, we suggest visiting a pharmacy or doctor’s office soon as the cold season is upon us!

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

 

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Renewing Marriage Vows & Celebrating Life Together

October 15, 2018

Life is full of celebrations and as we age, each happy event becomes more meaningful.  Ceremonies are held for various events that bring family and friends together to share joy and be a part of a larger purpose. Weddings, of course, are one of the most special occasions that we share and now, increasingly, wedding vow renewal ceremonies are taking center state.  After many years of marriage, some bride and grooms are moved to renew their vows to each other and celebrate their enduring love.  At The Saybrook at Haddam, we think this is a wonderful thing to do and so this week we are celebrating weddings and renewing the vows of many couples living at our retirement and assisted living community.

Why renew vows?  This is not a requirement in a couple’s married life, but sometimes the act of a formal renewal gives a marriage a little boost or serves to inspire other people to strive for life-long commitment. After his first marriage renewal ceremony, the Rev. Steve Stockman remarked to the New York Times,“In a world where marriage is fragile and flighty, here were a couple declaring their love after all of these years. It was a moving ceremony and a great testimony to a society that needs to hear this kind of committed love.”

While some renewal ceremonies include a complete reenactment, travel to a destination, or a full-blown reception, ours will be simple.  Couples will gather in our beautiful front lobby, reaffirm the promises they originally made to each other (to be true to each other in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor each other all the days of their lives) and celebrate with great music and some delicious wedding cake.  We appreciate that many residents are sharing photos and other mementos from their wedding day.  It will be a day to make new memories and promises, and to show gratitude towards each other.

We found it interesting that the trend of wedding vow renewals is growing around the country and across religions. Rabbi Naftali Silberberg from the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute says marriage renewals can serve a valuable purpose and perhaps should be done more frequently. He explains that in the Jewish faith, a marriage is actually renewed at every moment, so a “renewal” is really more of a celebration of how the relationship has grown and matured, and how a couple’s appreciation for each other has blossomed and flourished.  In this light, he says, a renewal could be a “time to recommit to each other, this time with more feeling, with more profound devotion—it is time to actively resolve to take the relationship to the next level.”

At The Saybrook at Haddam, we agree and we are ready to celebrate just that!

 

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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How About Them Apples?

October 3, 2018

Recently, residents at The Saybrook at Haddam’s Safe Harbor Memory Care neighborhood celebrated the start of the fall season with a game of “bowling with apples.” Residents had a lot of fun playing this silly tabletop game – and everyone laughed as we challenged our dexterity, concentration, and motor skills to try to roll apples. When the game was done, our chef gathered and washed the apples then baked them with a little cinnamon.  Nothing smells like autumn more than cooked apples!

This is just one example of how we develop activities and entertainment that embrace each season, get everyone involved, and add to the quality of everyday life for senior citizens and their families. Keeping a careful eye on the attitude and aptitude of each resident, we fill our days in ways that make the most of each moment.  We love to travel to local destinations, host local entertainers, and tackle as many games and activities as we can handle. Family and friends are always invited to join us, of course, which makes each event even more special and memorable.

Throughout the rest of the autumn season, we have planned outdoor picnics, “leaf peeping” joy rides, special seasonal meals, and other fall-related activities.  One of our favorites is painting pumpkins (and gourds), trick-or-treating and costume parades with young family members, and lots of music and entertainment. It is very hard to be bored or feel lonely at The Saybrook at Haddam!

For families looking to involve the senior citizens in their lives with fall celebrations and activities, we offer a few of our favorite suggestions:

Make some natural crafts – Go outside together and gather some natural items such as fallen leaves, acorns, pebbles and pine cones, then glue them together to make a “sculpture” or centerpiece. Or, place items in a glass jar then wrap with raffia or burlap ribbon.  Add some dried flowers or plants for extra flair.  If you choose to include cattails or milkweed pods, spray first with a fixative so they don’t shed.

Try some “old-fashioned” flower pressing — Pick some late-summer/early-spring foliage and flowers, place between wax paper, and insert into large books.  When they are properly dried, place into a picture frame, add to a decoupage project (such as a bird house or jar), or glue onto nice card stock for custom notecards.

Take a fall trip – Drive your grandparents to a local orchard for apple picking, find a pumpkin and gourd patch to walk through, or visit an arboretum or garden center.  Look for places with hay rides, apple cider (or, better yet, cider donuts), places to walk pets, and perhaps a hay bale or two to take a rest.

Host a themed party – From football to Halloween to Thanksgiving, there are many days and reasons to host a fun party.  Keep your senior-citizen-aged friends in mind when setting the time (early to late afternoon is best) and menu (mix in softer foods and less-spicy options), and entertainment (not too loud or agitating).

Quality of life for seniors includes lots of socializing and participation.  We hope these ideas inspire new ways families can include senior citizens into their enjoyment and celebration of this much-favored season!  Of course, don’t forget those baked apples!

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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Thoughts on Eating Well

September 14, 2018

One of the best parts of life at The Saybrook at Haddam is the dining plan which includes three chef-prepared meals daily, served in an elegant dining room, a private dining room, or outside on one of several patios.  The delicious and varied menus provide plenty of options for residents, and they are able to enjoy each meal in a welcoming social setting, dining with friends. This helps ensure residents are eating regularly and nutritiously, which makes a significant difference in their overall health and wellness.

By planning healthy meals that use locally grown ingredients whenever possible, the dining staff at The Saybrook at Haddam makes it easy to eat well. Meals are planned around resident requests, seasonal favorites, and chef-inspired creations.  Portions are managed so residents don’t feel overwhelmed with too much food on their plates – but, at the same time, there always seems to be more than enough food for all.  Of course, with no shopping, prepping, or clean up, all residents need to do is simply enjoy themselves!

We offer a variety of foods and drinks because seniors often encounter changes and challenges in their eating habits – and we want to remove those barriers for them.  In an On-Health article, “Age Related Eating Problems,” Dr. Robert Bargar says it is common for senior citizens to struggle with things like chewing or upset stomachs.  This all presents a danger for the overall health and wellness of any senior, especially those living alone.  Dr. Bargar suggests seniors keep canned and bottled fruits and vegetables on hand, as well as eggs, ground meats, yogurt, puddings, and juices.  These types of foods are available daily at The Saybrook at Haddam, so residents can simply pick what makes most sense for them without any fuss or concern.  We also offer mealtime monitoring for assisted living residents who may need that extra attention.

Meals can be a particular frustration for seniors facing dementia or other memory-related illnesses.  Many of these folks become indifferent to eating, overeat, or get stressed out with the process of eating.  In “5 Solutions for Mealtime Problems Common to Those With Dementia,” Paula Spencer Scott says families sometimes “have to rethink the way the food is presented and served” to be sure their loved ones enjoy meals once again.  Some easy changes she suggests include smaller portions, serving finger foods or pre-cut foods, walking before or after a meal, using plain white plates with a contrasting place mat, and keeping noise to a minimum during meals. At Safe Harbor, we agree and follow many of these simple steps to reduce anxiety and increase the willingness of each memory care resident to eat better.

Having said all of this, there are independent residents who are life-long cooks who enjoy preparing meals and baking treats.  This is why our fully stocked Country Kitchen is such a popular feature – a place where residents can cook or bake with grandchildren or with friends when the mood strikes.  It is fun to see a lot of activity in that room – and who doesn’t enjoy the smells of homemade goodies?

Throughout our lives, we share meals with family and friends as a daily ritual, to celebrate special occasions or achievements, or simply to enjoy time with one another. We view our dining room as a continuation of this tradition where friends gather, enjoy conversation, and get to know each other better.  It’s all part of life at The Saybrook at Haddam!

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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School Days for Seniors!

August 31, 2018

Retirement is the perfect time to … go back to school? At The Saybrook at Haddam, we certainly think so, although learning at this stage of life is far different – and requires no testing!  We regularly ask residents which topics they would like to learn more about, what type of educational programs they would like to attend, which programs in the community interest them, and so on.  We use this information to build fantastic weekly activities, invite experts to our community, and plan educational excursions at the many nearby resources.  Since they helped plan them, residents eagerly participate in these events and provide feedback for future programs.  This interaction contributes significantly to the high quality of life we enjoy in our assisted living and independent living community.

Griwold AprilThese past few weeks were extremely busy with educational-oriented events. We attended several programs at local libraries: one lecture on how our beloved Connecticut River Valley region was formed geologically, and another that took a close look at the life of a “good” colonial wife.  We also continued popular on-site programs featuring visiting professors and other local experts, Great Courses video programs, book discussions, Bible studies, and art classes.  We host these learning events in our movie room, Country Kitchen, library, front parlor or second-floor great room– helping ensure residents use and enjoy all the many wonderful areas of our community!

U.S. News and World Report says senior citizens can only benefit from more education as “lifelong learning is a noble pursuit that will keep you engaged and challenged.”  They note four upsides:

  • Seniors can pursue educational programs based entirely on their personal areas of interest. They do not need to follow a degree path and classes can be as varied and unconnected as they would like.
  • Learning helps fill potentially empty hours with interesting and engaging challenges.
  • Seniors stay “sharp” through study and learning. While this is great for personal satisfaction, it also gives them thought-provoking conversational starters at social events.
  • Seniors are more socially engaged when they participate in classes and learning – and often make new friends who share similar interests.

Safe Harbor Farm trip 2The Saybrook at Haddam knows that overall wellness and quality of life absolutely includes a strong element of learning and engagement. We are always encouraged by the diverse suggestions for educational activities residents (and families) send our way because it shows their high level of curiosity and wonder at the world around us.  Our activities team takes these suggestions to heart and relies on this input to build meaningful experiences each week.

Families and friends are always welcome to join us at any of these events. Please check our weekly and monthly activity calendars and see what best fits your schedule.  You may be surprised at the things you will learn!

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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Support in Sharing

August 15, 2018

Sharing is a beautiful part of life.  Granted, we may have struggled with sharing when we were very young, but as we age, we recognize its importance.  Sharing is the backbone of happiness and has countless other benefits – which is why we always encourage and seek out ways to share here at The Saybrook at Haddam.  One of the best things we can share, of course, is our experience and expertise, particularly in the area of helping families understand and navigate memory-related illness.

Since we opened the Safe Harbor Memory Care community in 2011, we have held many different educational and support events open to residents, their families, and the general community. We have had social workers, Alzheimer’s Association counselors, and specially trained personnel lead these groups, offering valuable insight and information in safe and welcoming settings.

This week we resume our “Caregivers Support Group” monthly meetings under the direction of Kathy Hallett, director of Safe Harbor at The Saybrook at Haddam.  As an Alzheimer’s Association trained facilitator, Kathy prepares short topics to present at each support group meeting and helps the group move in the direction that most addresses their needs. Kathy is also prepared to share community resources and distribute a wide range of educational materials from the Alzheimer’s Association.

“For caregivers, gathering in a safe environment to discuss frustrations, isolation issues and sadness is a good opportunity to not feel as lonely,” Kathy said.  “We take time to answer many questions, suggest tips, discuss loved ones’ stage and progression within the disease, and foster new friendships.”

The Mayo Clinic says support groups “provide an opportunity for people to share personal experiences and feelings, coping strategies, or firsthand information about diseases or treatments.” It suggests these groups are valuable tools to “fill a gap between medical treatment and the need for emotional support.”

Additionally, The Mayo Clinic says people may enjoy these wonderful benefits:

  • Feeling less lonely, isolated or judged
  • Reducing distress, depression, anxiety or fatigue
  • Improving skills to cope with challenges
  • Staying motivated to manage chronic conditions or stick to treatment plans
  • Gaining a sense of empowerment, control or hope
  • Improving understanding of a disease and your own experience with it
  • Getting practical feedback about treatment options
  • Learning about health, economic or social resources

It is a privilege to share the experience and education of our talented staff in all areas of aging – but most especially regarding memory-related illnesses.  The success of our Safe Harbor memory care community has been in great part a result of the willingness of so many people to share so much of themselves – from our staff to our residents and their families to our volunteers and to the many Alzheimer’s experts who visit with us and help us grow.  This does, indeed, contribute to a beautiful life.

Our Caregivers Support Group welcome those caring for a loved one with a memory-related illness.  It will be held the third Wednesday of each month at 6 p.m. in the first-floor library of The Saybrook at Haddam.  Please join us!

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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Senior Moments or Memory-Related Illness?

July 30, 2018

Did you know there are more than 50 million people around the world living with some type of Alzheimer’s, dementia or other memory-related illness?  These degenerative brain diseases affect some senior citizens in different ways causing symptoms such as forgetting simple things like words or names, losing the ability to balance a checkbook, neglecting personal hygiene, and encountering other interruptions in daily life.  As the disease progresses, so does the need for a greater level of daily care and support – for the patient and their families.

The Saybrook at Haddam works closely with the Alzheimer’s Association and other professionals to stay ahead of the curve regarding treatments, therapies, and care recommendations.  We are always fascinated by the amount of information the Alzheimer’s Association makes available to patients, families, and caregivers – and we try to share as much as we can with the people connected to our Safe Harbor memory care community.  This is important throughout most stages of the disease, but especially important at the beginning when families begin to suspect something more than “normal aging” is taking place.

The Alzheimer’s Association helps families recognize the difference between what is normal and what is a possible sign of the disease.  These can include:

  • Forgetting an appointment but remembering it later (normal) vs. forgetting it altogether even after asking for the appointment time and date over and over
  • Making occasional errors with a checkbook (normal) vs. not knowing how to deal with monthly bills and leaving them unpaid
  • Misplacing something and having to back track to find it (normal) vs. putting things in odd places or accusing people of stealing lost items

Understanding these important differences helps families determine if their loved one is simply facing a “senior moment” or maybe needs to seek an official diagnosis of the disease, preferably by a geriatrician.  These expert physicians will look at factors such as drug interactions and even dehydration which can cause Alzheimer’s-like symptoms to hopefully avoid false diagnoses.  However, if Alzheimer’s is suspected, a geriatrician has more  experience working with seniors to best direct families towards the most appropriate care plan.

Often, when Alzheimer’s is diagnosed (which can be in men as early as age 60 and in women as early as 70), many families become interested in understanding the brain more – a step that helps them better understand the changes taking place in their loved one.  The Alzheimer’s Association’s “Brain Tour” is an exceptional resource that explains how the brain works and how Alzheimer’s changes it by destroying nerve cells and tissue.

We know people can have signs of Alzheimer’s up to 20 years before they are diagnosed with the disease.  The mild-to-moderate stage can last anywhere from two to ten years with varying symptoms, and the severe stage can last one to five years.  Throughout each stage, patients need a tremendous amount of care and compassion – and our Safe Harbor memory care team is proud to walk by their side all the way.

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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Board Games – Never Boring!

July 16, 2018

When you tour The Saybrook at Haddam, you may notice we have an abundance of board games throughout the community, strategically located where two or more friends can gather at a moment’s notice.  Most games can be found nestled in our library, game room, country kitchen, and second-floor great room – with plenty of tables and chairs to accommodate players.  Additionally, we feature daily board games (or word or card games) organized by our activities team, which are always open to anyone and everyone – residents and visitors alike – to gather for friendship and fun.

Visitors to The Saybrook at Haddam look forward to playing games with elderly relatives and friends.  We love when young children grab a game from the library and bring it down the hall to grandma’s home, or when they bring grandpa down to the front parlor to play yet another game of checkers or chess.  Sometimes, residents may start a board game (such as Monopoly) and keep it set up in their homes for a few days before they can finish it!

In addition to being a popular way to spend time together, board games offer wonderful benefits for senior citizens. They improve brain health by encouraging different ways of thinking such as strategy, keeping track of things, and even math (to be sure the scorekeeper stays honest!). Games also help conjure good memories, as many were popular when residents were young themselves.

Some of the more favored games at The Saybrook at Haddam are Scrabble, Yahtzee, Connect Four, and Trivial Pursuit.  Each week we also work in a few games of Mexican Railroad and Rummicube (sometimes led by our high school volunteers).

Of course, we must mention Bingo, the perennial favorite among senior citizens.  Our community is no different and we love to host frequent games for guaranteed fun and enjoyment.  We also enjoy making weekly trips over to the nearby Haddam Senior Center to play a few rounds of Bingo with friends from town.  These trips offer a change of scenery, a break from the daily routine, and, yes, a chance to win prizes!

Residents also love games that have nothing to do with boards.  Many folks join us for daily word games, puzzles and other challenges.  And we often see friends pull out a deck of cards for a quick game with fellow residents or visiting family.  In fact, cards are one of the more popular activities when young children come to visit.

We haven’t met a senior citizen yet who did not enjoy games on some level or other.  Giving them the chance to play a wide selection of board games, cards or puzzles each day builds and strengthens friendships, sharpens brains, and contributes towards a wonderful quality of life.  Bring it on!

 

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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How Seniors Can Keep – and Build – Important Muscle Strength

June 29, 2018

Each day at The Saybrook at Haddam, residents have numerous opportunities for physical exercise.  Our first-floor gym, which is equipped with cardio and strength-building equipment, is open all day long for residents to use at their convenience.  We also offer different exercise, Tai Chi, and yoga classes, and we host a walking club throughout the year. Most residents enjoy these classes with friends, which adds an important social element to their day.

One of the most important exercises we work on as a group is strength-building with light weights.  Under careful guidance, residents lift weights with their arms and legs, following various forms and repetitions – all designed to improve physical strength. It is interesting to note that seniors can use their own body weight to help build muscle by doing simple leg lifts and arm raises. Either way, these movements are important to help seniors manage daily tasks of living, maintain better balance to help avoid falls or injuries, and simply enjoy a better quality of life.

One of our more popular arm strength exercises is to hold light weights straight down by our sides and lift slowly until they are perpendicular and parallel to the ground. We hold for a second and slowly go down to the starting position before pausing and repeating.  We do other exercises to specifically build triceps, such as lifting a light weight with one hand, bending elbow up to ear and slowly extending the arm to the ceiling. We hold the elbow with opposite hand for support before slowly lowering down. For best results, the American Heart Association recommends doing these types of exercises twice a week.

We are encouraged by what we do when experts tell us how valuable these exercises are.  For instance, Webmd.com points to a review of multiple progressive resistance training, or PRT, studies of 6,700 older participants. They used free weights, exercise machines and/or elastic bands, two to three times a week, increasing difficulty and resistance over time. The study found “PRT produced a large improvement in muscle strength, a moderate to large improvement in doing simple activities such as getting up from a chair or climbing stairs, and a small but statistically significant improvement in doing complex daily activities, such as bathing or preparing a meal. After PRT, people had less pain from osteoarthritis.”

The article quoted researcher Chiung-ju Liu of the department of occupational therapy at Indiana University in Indianapolis who determined “Older adults seem to benefit from this type of exercise even at the age of 80, and even with some type of health condition.” Lu also said the data supported the idea that muscle strength is largely improved after the training, and the impact on older adults’ daily activities can be significant.

Talk to our activities director and wellness team for details on all of the important fitness activities we offer each day.  Let us know if you have a new game or program you would like us to consider for our healthy community – if it gets more seniors moving more often, we are all for it!

 

For a private tour of The Saybrook at Haddam or its Safe Harbor memory care neighborhood, please fill out the form below or contact David Downey at 860-345-3779.

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Thanking and Appreciating our Veterans

June 15, 2018

Since The Saybrook at Haddam opened our doors, we have welcomed dozens of military veterans to our community.  Some of these men and women served during World War II, the Korean War, or in Vietnam; others during peacetime.  We owe a debt of gratitude to each of them and to every person who stands up to defend our nation and protect our freedoms. This is why we are proud to look for small and large ways to say “thank you” to all veterans in our lives.

Today, in fact, The Saybrook at Haddam is traveling with a group of veterans and family members down to the Nautilus Museum in Groton, Conn., for a very special “Honor and Remember” event.  This ceremony, which is hosted annually by VITAS Innovative Hospice Care, pays respect for Connecticut military veterans, past and present, and serves as a memorial to those who made the ultimate sacrifice. We appreciate the opportunity to be part of this tradition of highlighting the legacy, service, and sacrifice of all veterans to the country.

Additionally, we commissioned a local artist, Kristin Haddad, to create our own “Veterans Honor Wall” which is nearly complete.  This tribute, titled “Land of the Free, Home of the Brave,” prominently features a painting of the American flag with our national emblem and a soldier standing in salute.  The mural will eventually include a plaque from each branch of service (Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard), each featuring the names of veteran residents from The Saybrook at Haddam. Stay tuned for details on our dedication ceremony!

On a regular basis, we host special veterans’ social events at The Saybrook at Haddam for residents, families and community members.  These events are meant to be an opportunity to share memories of time in the service, discuss some of our country’s history, offer thanks, and build friendships.  Each time we host these events, we are heartened by the spirit of the men and women who attend, and we are glad to offer small recognition.

In the past, one resident was honored at our community by the remarkable Quilts of Valor organization. We all gathered to watch this emotional ceremony, learn more about the special people who choose to live at The Saybrook at Haddam, and, again, offer thanks.  We cannot seem to do that enough. (Please note that the Quilts of Valor Foundation is always seeking volunteer quilters and welcomes suggestions of quilt recipients.)

We look for other little ways to honor and respect veterans and their families in our daily activities at The Saybrook at Haddam.  We often screen historical films and documentaries that focus on different battles or times of war; we have many books and magazines in our libraries that about military history; we host book clubs and discussion groups that oftentimes take on an historical or military theme.  Residents always seem to learn something from these activities – and from fellow residents – which is one of our important goals!

We welcome any veteran of any age (or current service member) to visit our community to meet and talk with fellow veterans.  The National Veteran’s Association reports that there is tremendous value and therapeutic benefits when vets gather and share their stories.  We see this here on a regular basis and encourage it anytime!

For us, coming together on national days of remembrance such as Veterans’ Day or Memorial Day is important to do to show respect for those who served.  We make a special point, however, to go one or two steps further and find ways to extend a hand and offer our gratitude when it is not expected.

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